As a tribute to Sean Eddy‘s wonderfully delightful series of celebrity medics “If (INSERT NAME) Were A Paramedic…“, a few other bloggers and I have decided to fantasize what would happen if football upset king Tim Tebow were a Paramedic. Here is what I came up with:
Tim Tebow will start every shift by Tebowing… both in the garage and again in the back of the ambulance to mark his territory.
Tim Tebow will get dispatched via huddle. When the huddle dispatches him to a potentially messy job, his driver will call an audible and they will get reassigned to the cake walk dialysis take home.
Tim Tebow will not need to do vital signs… they will become what he wants them to become.
Tim Tebow will not need to carry anything… his crew of 10 will carry the equipment, the patient, AND Tim Tebow to and from the assignment.
Tim Tebow will not do paperwork… that will be done by the admin staff at quarters for him.
Tim Tebow will not give a report to the receiving hospital… he will instead perform more Tebowing as the nurse rattles off possible diagnosis.
Tim Tebow will end his shift the same way he started it… Tebowing both in the back of his rig and in the garage to mark the end of another successful shift… and then his crew will carry him home where he can watch the replay of the Giants winning Superbowl XLVI.