If you were on the internet at all yesterday chances are that you saw this proclamation about how suddenly we could SOLVE POVERTY (yes, that’s right, I said SOLVE POVERTY) by taking the forecasted jackpot of 1.4 Billion dollars and spreading it equally amongst the 300 Million or so of us in the United States. I mean when you stop to think about it, that’s really pretty awesome right? To be able to have that kind of effect on people on such a huge scale is immense. Of course… there’s only one small problem…
The math is wrong.
This is one of those moments where, if instead of hitting the “LIKE” and/or “SHARE” button like the good electric sheep following the flock, if you take a closer look you’ll see that something there just doesn’t quite add up. In this case, it doesn’t divide up.
You see, if you take $1,400,000,000 and divide it by
3,000,000 300,000,000 then what you actually end up with is around $4.33 per person. This is something a 10-year old could have figured out… even WITH “Common Core“. Unfortunately, this does NOT solve poverty. It WILL get me a large french vanilla ice coffee (extra light with cream, four Splendas) from Dunkin’ Donuts AND a one dollar ticket to win Mega-Millions who’s jackpot will remain intact and safe from the hordes of poverty solvers.
A Dollar And A Few Dreams
Let’s be honest, I think I’m as relatively generous and charitable as the next guy, instead of getting that Ice Coffee and Mega-Millions ticket how about if I just gave the $4.33 to the EMS profession to improve upon it.
Greg Friese detailed how What if EMS won the $800M Powerball jackpot? last week before the jackpot ballooned. I’m a fan of his #1, #5, #6, and especially #9 ideas. Want to know what they are? Go read it for yourself… don’t worry… we’ll wait.
Kelly Grayson offered his Top 10 not-so-altruistic ways to improve EMS with a billion dollars. I like quite a few of his ideas too, namely #2, #4, #7 (it should include a card swiper for credit cards), and #8. I want to have #1 as a favorite, but honestly I’m more of a monument kind of guy as opposed to a statue. Want to know what I’m talking about? Go read that for yourself too… don’t worry… we’ll still wait.
Aside from the fact that they’re both selfish for wanting the whole jackpot to themselves (when I mean, c’mon, we could solve poverty with it) I do like the idea of having the extra cash for causes in EMS. So since I’m giving up my $4.33, here’s 6 things I would like to see it go towards:
- A livable wage for ALL EMTs – I know, my $4.33 donation wouldn’t go very far in achieving this, but this is still something I would like to see
- Merging all the EMS advocate groups to truly become a powerhouse able to affect change – I know, my $4.33 donation won’t go very far in quelling some of the egos involved, but this is still something I think we need and for a large number of us, owed
- Every Medical Director who ever restricted, suspended, or terminated an EMT or Paramedic for not spinally immobilizing a patient found ambulatory with no other injuries or motor deficits but complained of “neck” pain forced into a room with a sharpie to black out everything not based on fact about spinal immobilization from every EMT/Paramedic textbook printed since 1995 – I know, my $4.33 donation won’t go very far into forced labor, but maybe this is something we could turn over to The Hague as a war crime
- A team of elite legal eagles to descend upon any agency or owner who insist on having antiquated draconian Social Media Policies for their organizations or worse… no policy at all – I know, my $4.33 probably isn’t even enough to find a legal eagle, but old grudges are hard to let go
- A copy of 25 Things They Should Have Taught You In Medic School… But Didn’t for every EMT/Paramedic student BEFORE they start class from now until 2026 – Yeah, I know my $4.33 will buy only a Kindle copy and a copy of You Called 9-1-1 For This?, but I think it’s worth the money AND I happen to know the author who would be downright tickled over the notion
- More funding for organizations like The Code Green Campaign so we can take better care of ourselves – I know, my $4.33 probably won’t amount to much, but I’m tired of hearing about my friends have problems, seeing them suffer, and having my own delusional moments where I think I may still be sane
So that’s where I hope my $4.33 goes towards. Now where should I send the check? Oh… right… we’re still divided amongst ourselves. That’s fine, really.
Of course… I encourage you all to do the same. No, we aren’t solving poverty or anything grand like that… but your odds of getting a benefit there are better than they are winning the Powerball…